Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confidence. Show all posts

Thursday, November 22, 2012

EZE drops out of school; Makes it into the Forbes Billionaires List!



Recently, I had a steaming discussion with some friends where each of us probably related our tons of experiences – first-hand and otherwise – about paid employment and the myriads of factors militating against the outburst of entrepreneurial horsepower in most Nigerians, especially, the university graduates among us. When you ask a typical Nigerian graduate what he or she wants to do post-graduation, the common answer is, “to try and get a job, you know it is not easy.” but sadly, it is only about one in every 100 graduates that are gainfully employed in those ‘successful’ organizations. That’s a paltry one percent! What happens to the remaining 99 percent? They hope. And keep hoping.
Is there a solution?
Entrepreneurship may well be the answer that we need to reduce the depth of unemployment and the frustration that comes with it. What is entrepreneurship?  The term is a loanword from French and was first defined by the Irish-French economist, Richard Cantillon, as the person who pays a certain price for a product to resell it at an uncertain price, thereby making decisions about obtaining and using the resources while consequently admitting the risk of enterprise. But entrepreneurship is not just about setting up one’s own business. You can display the skill of enterprise by recreating common things into very uncommon and profitable outputs. Perhaps, that is why renowned management guru, Peter Drucker defined an entrepreneur as someone who searches for change, responds to it and exploits opportunities. It then means that innovation is a specific tool of an entrepreneur, hence, an effective entrepreneur converts a source into a resource.
Few young Nigerians, who have been bold and courageous enough to dream up something, pursue them and constantly improve on them, have made serious impacts in the country today. Nairaland, bellanaija and linda ikeji are examples and there are still countless more. On a different platform, the individual who devised a means of packaging fried plantain chips in those lovely and colourful wrapping sheets that most of us currently buy while in traffic is a genius! Can you imagine how much money the business of plantain chips is making just because someone was responsible enough to think of a better way to package the product?
Quite understandably, the Nigerian business environment, the society and even our immediate families constrain a lot of us in many ways.  We are taught from a very tender age to grow up, get educated and secure a paid employment maybe as a doctor, lawyer or accountant. Not once in the growing up years did most wealthy parents or school teachers guide their wards into thinking that they could actually become a manufacturer, a cloth designer or a business owner of some sort. Even innate skills such as singing, dancing, painting, sporting etc. were equally discouraged, all in favour of studying to ace one’s school examinations. Inevitably, the training that a Nigerian undergraduate studying, for example, Mass Communication at a tertiary institution receives, only compels him to, upon graduation, ‘look for work’ as a reporter. The training may not sufficiently guide him to, perhaps, start a blog and commercialize it or veer into providing other ancillary services in advertising and public relations as an entrepreneur. This short-sighted approach makes me ask myself, “Who is the owner of that organization that I want to work for as an accountant or administrator?” Again, ask any banker who his biggest customer is; is he an employee or perhaps, even a self-employed illiterate?
A cursory look at the profiles of those who made it into the recently released Forbes list of world richest people revealed that most of them were self-made - Aligo Dangote, Walmart’s owner, S. Robson Walton and the world’s richest man today, Carlos Slim Helu & family etc. just name them. (Hey! I’m not talking about those who divert state wealth for their personal aggrandizement).
I guess it is now our choices to make – you and i. to be or not to be the next Afropreneur. And whether we want to keep on reading that Eze goes to school and thereafter became an accountant at a departmental store in the big city or that the Drummer Boy – yes, the blind one, who became the best musical producer, after studying music and pursuing his dreams. Go figure!

 xoxo
abydarl

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Why Can't We Be Friends With Benefits?



Do you sometimes feel like you're beating your head against a wall trying to get even the ATTENTION you deserve with your man - much less the COMMITMENT you truly want? And that no matter what you do or say, it somehow ends up pushing him away even more? 
  
A relationship consultant, Rori said to me: I know what that frustration and pain is like - it was the way I used to go through my relationships, one after the other.  It was like an endless pattern of intense chemistry at the beginning, and then he'd always sort of "drift away" and I'd be heartbroken.
I know now that it doesn't have to be that way for you.   You can shift this awful situation round completely - so YOU feel powerful, and his love starts flowing TO you, instead of AWAY from you.

Rori shared the secret of how she got around the cycle of rejections and despondency with me. Below are some of her tips that you can use, my comments are in red:
In her words;
1. I got busy doing activities that I am passionate about (i.e. yoga classes) and making new friends – I’m guessing your passion isn’t yoga, but it could be going for dance lessons (I could recommend you to a few places), learning the piano or starting a poultry farm.
2. I put down the oars in my relationship and leaned back – I’ve heard some of my girlfriends complain that their men complain that they behave like the men in the relationship. You don’t want to be so aggressive that your man begins to feel threatened. As my brother says sometimes, “a woman should let her man cheat her sometimes and vice versa – that’s what I call, compromise.”
3. I use only feeling messages to communicate with my relationship man (it took some practice, but it is getting easier) –try not to leave all the blame at his doorstep all the time. Tell him you feel hurt when he fails to keep a promise instead of telling him that he is insensitive to your needs. Also learn and adopt his love language but be ‘coded’ about how you show it.
4. I started dating other men casually and let my relationship man know ("my goal is to be in a relationship that is moving towards marriage, so I am not looking to be anyone's girlfriend... we can still see each other) – this works too! **winks**
5. I stopped driving to him... he has to come to me – obviously.
6. Finally, I stopped going to the last minute "meet me in my office, I got an hour" dates! I told him that he would have to schedule a date with me at least 48 hours in advance. – This is a must.
And the result?
"The most amazing thing has happened... when I first started this process I was totally focused on him... he was everything to me... he was the prize for me to win!! Well, 6 weeks later, I am focused on me and my life... I noticed yesterday that I am hardly thinking about him anymore and I am starting to not want him anymore...
"He has gone from calling me 1-2 times per week to calling me 1-2 times per day. Plus he sends me text messages every day. He finally stopped asking me to "stop by his office" and started planning nice romantic evenings that he sets up several days ahead. I can feel him moving closer to me, where before he was always moving away!”
 
There you have it! Get real girlfriend, if you're in love with a man who is SO HARD to pin down, who is "afraid" of commitment, and seems to always want YOU to do the work in the relationship,   let him understand by your actions – not words that you are priceless. If a man isn't sure what he wants from you or with you, why should he have ALL of you to himself while he's figuring things out?


xoxo
abydarl

Friday, February 3, 2012

It's Time To Sit Down





In 1955, Rosa Parks was arrested for refusing to give up her seat on the bus for a white man. Boycotts and bloodshed followed until the Supreme Court ruled segregation unconstitutional. Later, Rosa wrote, “Knowing what must be done does away fear. After many years of being a victim, I felt it was time for someone to stand up – or in my case, sit down.”


Courage is displayed at the most unusual moments; moments that could change you and those around you forever. I recently had my own sitting-down moment, (more of that later). I once heard the story of a spy who got caught and sentenced to death. Before his execution, an army general asked him to choose between the firing squad and the ‘big door,’ he chose the firing squad. If only he’d known that behind the big door laid freedom!
If God has invested a lot in you, you must believe that it is His will for you to succeed. Be strong and of good courage and you will have good success! I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that you have no good reason to worry. Maybe, you have a reason for it. But, believe me, no reason is good enough! But that is only when you understand that life is all you set out to make it to be.
Sometimes, a foe can press you into victory where a friend cannot. It is good to have critics and competitors.  I mean, who would have heard of David without Goliath? Moses, if there was no pharaoh oppressing the Israelites? Esther, without Haman’s evil plot to exterminate the Jews?
Yeah! Those are stories, but, believe it, when you dare to confront your fears and enemies; they will become instruments in God’s hands to press you into your destiny. Sometimes, it is more important to sit down than to stand up and walk away. Sitting down is an action. It is active. It isn’t sitting still, hoping and doing nothing. Sometimes, you must sit down, meditate and strategize on how to overcome life’s challenges. Think of the many different things you can do while sitting down. You sit down to study and excel at you academics! You sit down to even do the big one! Don’t always stand up and walk away no matter how hot that seat is! Who knows, you just might be walking away from those cool millions you’ve always dreamed about!
Several times, we choose the known at the expense of good old beautiful unknown. Several wise men have expressed it in different ways that it is a sign of insanity to do the same things and expect different results. John Maxwell describes those who can cause a change as people who get-it-done-and-then-some. I’d want you to become a catalyst today. Create the change that you desire to see wherever you go. No one says you must know it all, or become super-smart or super-human, but, I’m sure that by being assertive (not aggressive please!) about what you believe in, you can engender a transformation – either standing up or sitting down.


xoxo

abydarl